Chels in Progress

These past two weeks have been an absolute roller coaster.  I have become extra familiar with the third floor of the old building at the hospital (and pretty much every other floor).  The change in my appetite has thrown me for a loop, and my cup of grace is dwindling.  My supply of tears has somehow grown and has spilled over more times than I would have imagined possible.  Today I finally recognized some of the lies that the enemy has been trying to tell me, and I want nothing more than to renounce them.  Rather than writing the lies I've battled this week, I'm writing the truths God tells me instead. I am strong . Where I am weak, God is glorified ; my weaknesses are never in vain, Satan cannot capitalize on them if I lay them at Jesus' feet. My life doesn't have to be in perfect order before I am qualified to help people. It is okay to cry in the middle of a church service (and not everyone is looking). I am not alone. I am called out, I ...

There was a time in my life when God plucked me out of my comfort zone, and dropped me into a whole new environment.  I learned to rely on Him, trust Him, to look up to Him, much like when a child is scared or uncomfortable, they hold on tight to their parent's hand.  He taught me about grace and gentleness , patience and love .  My heart was light and full and bursting . But then, I was right back in a place I knew, and today I'm faced with the reality that I'm too comfortable again.  Today, I am burdened with the reality of my lack of grace .  In my striving to do well, I lost sight of people.  I was harsh.  I was uninviting.  My light was dim, and my love was small.  I was task-oriented before people-oriented.  I wanted to finish my job before serving. My heart was scrunchy and ugly today.  I was scrunchy and ugly today. In our striving, even striving for good things, we sin.  We stop relying on the Lord's stren...

dinner dates a new plant family laughs new tires coconut soy candles cinnamon crunch bagels a little bit of rain friends who stick through thick and thin Frozen 90s music at work

" Rejoice evermore.  Pray without ceasing.  In every thing give thanks : for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 It's so easy to dedicate one single day to giving thanks.  If we even do it on that day.  But it's difficult to give thanks to the Lord unceasingly .  To thank Him for absolutely everything .  But it's also one of the most freeing things we could learn to do. Last night started out beautifully.  My shift ended with a huge compliment from my manager, a free turkey, the turkey fitting perfectly in my freezer, my dad making me a delicious burrito for dinner, and a tea party and Christmasy crafts with two very dear friends.  I was really excited for everything, and ready to go to sleep peacefully.  And then I got home.  The night completely shifted into something less than beautiful, the least of our problems being how very colorful my language turned in response to the ch...

My heart aches for East Asia tonight. For all the hands that touched this coin before mine. And for all the hands that touched it after. For the farmers. For the people in the marketplace. For the watermelon lady, for La La, and for all the people in the alleyway. For the people who sit on the street corners selling their fruit. For the person who wrote this prayer, this wish. For the people whose wishes are tied all around this one. For all the people who put their faith in wooden and golden statues. For the lost , and broken . For the hurting and hungry , the thirsty and seeking . My heart aches. And I can only imagine that this heaviness in my chest is simply a fraction of the ache, the grieving, that the Lord feels for the people He created so beautifully, intentionally , delicately, sweetly who wander aimlessly through life ignoring Him denying Him hating Him & I pray this aching in my chest ...

One of the most beautiful cries out to the Lord that I have heard, and the prayers of my heart if they were a song. "...more and more I need You now , I owe You more each passing hour, the battle between grace and pride I gave up not so long ago So steal my heart and take the pain and wash the feet and cleanse my pride take the selfish , take the weak, and all the things I cannot hide take the beauty, take my tears, the sin-soaked heart and make it Yours take my world all apart take it now, take it now..." "Worlds Apart" - Jars of Clay ♥

What is man that You remember him, the son of man that You look after him? You made him little less than God and crowned him with glory and honor. Psalm 8:4-5  Oh my heart.  Sometimes, I am just straight up baffled at why the Lord desires to know me and use me and bless me and love me, because I just don't seem lovable enough.  But then I am grateful, because unworthiness the platform for grace .  So then, in my ugliness and chaos, I am in the perfect place to accept God's love.  Which is beautiful , because that's usually when I need love the most. I will always be grateful for this season of life.  It is definitely not where I imagined myself now, and it is definitely not how I would have planned it for myself, but it is so beautiful.  So desperately , perfectly beautiful, in a very countercultural way.  You see, I thought I'd be married right now.  I never set many career goals.  I never had any financial plans.  I ju...