Chels in Progress

My dad once told me (half-jokingly) to be careful when praying for patience, because you get lessons in patience and opportunities to be stretched in that area.  So I tried to avoid praying for patience. But then I met a really patient person who made me want to pray for patience. So here I am, in the middle of many lessons in patience that the Lord has given me.  And for the first time, I'm not just excited for the destination, but I'm enjoying the journey.

Does this sound like a big feat?  Well, it is. Yesterday, my heart broke and I felt overwhelmed in grief for my mom.  She has been fighting MS for over 25 years, and watching it slowly take more from her is painful to watch.  Not only is she physically dwindling, but more so, her spirit is suffering.  I finally hit a wall, and I started bawling. So I sat with God and told Him how I felt.  I remembered that it was okay to dish it out.  He's big enough and strong enough to shoulder our grief, and more importantly, He cares about us.  So I laid it out there.  And then I slept on it. This morning, I wasn't sure what to think or feel.  I was all cried out, my eyes still puffy, and I just had to push through to get to work.  And then something happened.  I began to realize that I believed that God could intervene.  That God was truly there.  That He had me , as the Holy Spirit has been whispering into my ear all week. ...

" Rejoice evermore.  Pray without ceasing.  In every thing give thanks : for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 It's so easy to dedicate one single day to giving thanks.  If we even do it on that day.  But it's difficult to give thanks to the Lord unceasingly .  To thank Him for absolutely everything .  But it's also one of the most freeing things we could learn to do. Last night started out beautifully.  My shift ended with a huge compliment from my manager, a free turkey, the turkey fitting perfectly in my freezer, my dad making me a delicious burrito for dinner, and a tea party and Christmasy crafts with two very dear friends.  I was really excited for everything, and ready to go to sleep peacefully.  And then I got home.  The night completely shifted into something less than beautiful, the least of our problems being how very colorful my language turned in response to the ch...

My heart aches for East Asia tonight. For all the hands that touched this coin before mine. And for all the hands that touched it after. For the farmers. For the people in the marketplace. For the watermelon lady, for La La, and for all the people in the alleyway. For the people who sit on the street corners selling their fruit. For the person who wrote this prayer, this wish. For the people whose wishes are tied all around this one. For all the people who put their faith in wooden and golden statues. For the lost , and broken . For the hurting and hungry , the thirsty and seeking . My heart aches. And I can only imagine that this heaviness in my chest is simply a fraction of the ache, the grieving, that the Lord feels for the people He created so beautifully, intentionally , delicately, sweetly who wander aimlessly through life ignoring Him denying Him hating Him & I pray this aching in my chest ...

One of the most beautiful cries out to the Lord that I have heard, and the prayers of my heart if they were a song. "...more and more I need You now , I owe You more each passing hour, the battle between grace and pride I gave up not so long ago So steal my heart and take the pain and wash the feet and cleanse my pride take the selfish , take the weak, and all the things I cannot hide take the beauty, take my tears, the sin-soaked heart and make it Yours take my world all apart take it now, take it now..." "Worlds Apart" - Jars of Clay ♥