Chels in Progress

As I sat in a moderately busy Starbucks, sipping my black tea and typing up a letter, I began to feel someone's attention focused in on me.  Cautiously, I looked up.  Sure enough, a lady was staring me down.  I had a table, and she was sitting on a stool against the wall, clutching her red cup and not removing her gaze.  Realizing I needed to head home, I stood up.  Before I had picked up my empty La Boulange bag, she started making her way over.  She rushed past me and immediately staked a claim on that table. I began to wonder about how the community we have cultivated.  See, I would have happily shared my table with the other lady.  We could've had a brilliant conversation, or quietly respected one another's space.   It would seem that we (as a culture) have decided it is more comfortable to be passively rude than to risk another person rejecting us or being actively rude in response.  So we throw nonverbal signs at people to influ...

I have seen God provide for my family in incredible ways over this past month.  My favorite way to describe it lately is that "His faithfulness is indisputable."  There is no denying that He has been in the middle of our difficulties, triumphed over Satan's attacks, and filled our days with grace.  We are blessed.  Not just for what He has done for us, but for the opportunities to see His character, His love, and His involvement in our lives through the trials.  His glory shines brighter than our circumstances.  There is not one thing in this season that I look at, and think, Satan sure won that one .   No.  God has used absolutely every difficult thing to draw us to Him, to share more of Himself with us, and to prove Himself faithful and graceful.  I have come to this conclusion: I will never fully understand why He allows difficult things to happen to us, except for that through whatever He allows, it is ultimately for His glory. If I...

paddleboarding in perfect weather time to pause & create friends who rally around me in the hardest times the weather cooling off a little bit overnight oatmeal working with our youth group the my roommates & the 585 house worship music my Nalgene bottle photography ♥ thank You, Lord, for these days & these gifts.

Oh to steal away from busyness, to escape paved roads; to be in the company of trees, absent of skyscrapers. Oh, that I might breathe in the smell of campfire smoke reaching up to Heaven, and see the light of thousands of stars beaming across space. Oh, to feel mountain air dance across my cheeks, and hear the steady rush of the river nearby; saturated in God's art, unaltered by man. Wild, quiet, free.

These past two weeks have been an absolute roller coaster.  I have become extra familiar with the third floor of the old building at the hospital (and pretty much every other floor).  The change in my appetite has thrown me for a loop, and my cup of grace is dwindling.  My supply of tears has somehow grown and has spilled over more times than I would have imagined possible.  Today I finally recognized some of the lies that the enemy has been trying to tell me, and I want nothing more than to renounce them.  Rather than writing the lies I've battled this week, I'm writing the truths God tells me instead. I am strong . Where I am weak, God is glorified ; my weaknesses are never in vain, Satan cannot capitalize on them if I lay them at Jesus' feet. My life doesn't have to be in perfect order before I am qualified to help people. It is okay to cry in the middle of a church service (and not everyone is looking). I am not alone. I am called out, I ...

There are times when we can't express our needs to God.  Our hearts are heavy, and we can only lift them up.  These past two weeks have been a lot of just looking up to Him, and offering my heart, burdens and all.  He has responded– greatly, faithfully. Because you are His sons, God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father." Galatians 4:6

This week has been so exhausting. Three days in, I sat alone, feeling numb.  I didn't know what to think, how to react, what to feel.  So my brain chose numbness.  As an INFJ, I don't like numbness.  Feeling is my norm.  I hated the indifference, the cloudiness.  I prayed God wouldn't harden my heart. As easy as it was to send prayer requests out to my closest friends, I found it hard to pray myself.  I didn't trust; I was so short on faith.  My heart was guarded.  I was overwhelmed by dryness of the people around me, people who didn't speak truth, who didn't pray and praise and proclaim His glory in the midst of our trial. Tonight, my numbness, mistrust, my dry spell, my lack of faith– all of it b r o k e . Oh my soul, praise the Lord.  I will exalt Thee, I will rest in You. But I will sing of You strength and will joyfully proclaim Your faithful love in the morning. For You have been a stronghold for me, a ...