Secondary Caregiving.
Today was one of those days where I felt totally ill-equipped, too overwhelmed, and too afraid to deal with my circumstances.
No daughter should have to figure out what it means to "flush a catheter", to change adult diapers, to pick spaghetti noodles off her mom's wheelchair, or to have to lift her mom out of a chair every time she needs to transfer. No mom wants her daughter to have to mess with her catheter, change her diaper, pick spaghetti noodles off her wheelchair, or to have to transfer her from chair to bed and bed to chair.
I am resting in the reminder that God's original plan was not painful and broken; we were never meant to watch our family members fall apart. Our bladders were not meant to fail, our legs were not meant to stop working, and our memories were not meant to fade.
Thank You, Lord, for allowing us to know Your heart. For creating a perfect and beautiful and pain-free world before we chose to walk away from You. For giving us good and beautiful gifts. For reminding me that none of this brokenness was your desire for us. Thank You for redeeming the ugly and painful things in our lives, and using them. Thank You for the connections we have because of MS. Thank You for growing our empathy and sympathy and hearts for others as a result of MS being present in our lives. Thank You for all You're doing behind the scenes, glorious things we can't even begin to dream of. Thank You for never leaving us high and dry, for providing always, and holding us when we are grieving. You are faithful and true, loving and gentle, fierce and bold for us. In Jesus' name.
No daughter should have to figure out what it means to "flush a catheter", to change adult diapers, to pick spaghetti noodles off her mom's wheelchair, or to have to lift her mom out of a chair every time she needs to transfer. No mom wants her daughter to have to mess with her catheter, change her diaper, pick spaghetti noodles off her wheelchair, or to have to transfer her from chair to bed and bed to chair.
I am resting in the reminder that God's original plan was not painful and broken; we were never meant to watch our family members fall apart. Our bladders were not meant to fail, our legs were not meant to stop working, and our memories were not meant to fade.
Thank You, Lord, for allowing us to know Your heart. For creating a perfect and beautiful and pain-free world before we chose to walk away from You. For giving us good and beautiful gifts. For reminding me that none of this brokenness was your desire for us. Thank You for redeeming the ugly and painful things in our lives, and using them. Thank You for the connections we have because of MS. Thank You for growing our empathy and sympathy and hearts for others as a result of MS being present in our lives. Thank You for all You're doing behind the scenes, glorious things we can't even begin to dream of. Thank You for never leaving us high and dry, for providing always, and holding us when we are grieving. You are faithful and true, loving and gentle, fierce and bold for us. In Jesus' name.
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